Thursday, February 10, 2011

Urban Tip: How to Deal With A Glory Hole

One downside to living in a major metropolis is that sometimes, without any warning, you find a glory hole in your apartment. Glory holes can be triggered by any number of events: poor maintenance, climate change or playing jazz records a bit too loud. (In my case, poor maintenance was the culprit.) The day I found a glory hole in my apartment, I nearly had a large spazz. But, instead of jumping off the roof or burning down my home to start afresh, I found a way to deal with the situation like an adult. It is my dream that this blog post will help other urbanites deal with unwanted glory holes and go on to lead rich, exciting lives in America and Spain.

THE PROBLEM: This is me discovering the notorious hole. I was not very happy to see it!

WORST-CASE SCENARIO: What if? No one should have to deal with something like this while trying to eat breakfast or relax with a couple of jazz records. (In the interest of decency, I substituted a banana for the traditional wang.)

THE SOLUTION: Using my quick wits and a little muscle power, I plugged the Godless hole with an old plastic bag I'd been keeping under my sink. Problem solved, my friends!

These days, I can relax at home without having to worry about dozens of wangs poking out the hole of my kitchen's closet door. And that is what life in the city is all about, cool cats and kitties!

Urban Tip is a new Hogwash! feature that will appear when you least expect it, like a ghost or an old friend you'd like to avoid.