Monday, March 29, 2010

Party Animal

I have . . . a confession to make.

I don’t usually dress this way!

Ha ha!

Usually, I just wear civilian clothes.

A leash.

To be honest, I feel a little uncomfortable dressed up so fancypants!

Oh, I could’ve said no, but I figured what the hell.

It’s Jeremy’s 8th birthday, and….

I’m too accommodating! That’s my problem!

Yup yup yup.

Mum was right: I’m a big, spineless pushover.

You know I’m the first man in my family to have to wear a bow tie?

If grandpop could see me now he’d eat chocolate.

They’re taking advantage of my good nature.

Just because Jeremy is turning 8 doesn’t mean that I should have to be made to look ridiculous.

I don’t even like Jeremy—he’s a disgrace!

There: I said it. He’s a disgrace. A waste of time.

Well, today it ends, my friends.

Today, while they’re singing Happy Birthday to the waste of time I’m going to bite everybody.

Show ‘em who’s boss.

I'll teach you to put a bow tie on a proud man!

. . . .

On second thought . . . if I bite everyone, they might take me somewhere to get destroyed.

Which is not so great.

. . . .

Maybe I'll just shit somewhere they can't see.

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