Thursday, January 28, 2010

The Wit and Wisdom of Benjamin Franklin

“Early to bed, early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.”

“Not tonight, madame; it’s nearly 3:00 pm!”

“Get some sleep or you’ll wind up fat, poor and stupid.”

“We've been over this before: fat people are bums. Now get into my bed before you catch a disease.”

“See that guy in grubby clothes with the huge lard-ass? He doesn’t know about my saying.”

“I don’t like the look of our fat new neighbor. I swear he stayed up all night, just staring out his window into our house . . . By George! He covets the bed.”

“What’s he building in there?”

“Are you guys still cool with my plan to torch the fat man’s house? I want him in Hell by sunrise.”

“Burn the beast’s body until there’s nothing left! Just do it. What? You're not having second thoughts, are you? Fine. Then, I'll just have to burn both of you. Hahaha! I am BENJAMIN!”

“No, officer, I have no idea who could have held a grudge against such a friendly, well-rested fat man. Would you care for one of my famous kites?”

"I can't believe I got away with it. As a little treat, I'm going to bed extra early tonight. We're all going to be rich and healthy!"

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